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Saturday, April 21, 2012

Ready, Set, AIM...WALK for Autism

On this cool, frosty Saturday morning over 1600 of us were up early in support of AIM - Autism Includes Me. As for me, I woke up at "dark thirty" (as my hubby calls it) otherwise known as 5 am to go help out in whatever way my friend Traci needed me today. Helping people is something that I love to do and I've looked forward to this day for weeks. So even when the weatherman started talking about the weather being in the 30 something, I was not about to let that deter me. I just laid out my gloves, scarf, silk underclothes, ear muffs, a long sleeved shirt to wear under my green AIM t-shirt... and I was all set. Except for one important thing. I didn't think about steal toed boots. Once we arrived, there was much to do. The "race guy" got there with his trailer and needed to set up close to an electrical outlet. We needed to move some chairs and some umbrella stands out of the way so he could park his truck and trailer there. The chairs were no problem. But the umbrella stands were another story. They were metal and quite heavy. I tried lifting one and it slipped out of my hands onto my right foot landing on my big toe. Yes, it hurt, but I didn't want to be a baby about it, so I trucked on. As the morning wore on my foot began hurting more and more and I could tell my toe was swelling inside my shoe. I went to my car at one point to make a phone call that lasted about 20 minutes. When I got out, I could hardly walk and the pain was nearly unbearable. My first thought was "Oh no, I've broken my toe!" I walked around on it for awhile, did a few more things that needed done and then said goodbye to Traci. As I left, the pain was shooting up my foot so I decided to go by the convenient care clinic. The doctor took x-rays. Nothing broken, but my toe and foot are severely bruised. It is twice as big as the other toe and quite colorful. I have a lovely boot that I have to wear for a few days for stabilization and protection from others stepping on it or kicking it. AND I have crutches for additional support. It would be funny if wasn't so ridiculous. I've been telling people that Steve is looking for a nice nursing home for me. What I have learned from this is to SLOW DOWN!!! Get ready, get set, but slow things down a bit so I will be able to walk ... literally and figuratively. The situation is similar to when we pray for answers from God. We typically want an answer NOW!! But God's timing is never the same as ours. He knows best and his timing is perfect. Always. We should never be in a hurry to make a mistake.

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Sad and Angry

I never thought that anything could be as painful as losing my mother to cancer. I was wrong.

Our grandson, Beckett was stillborn on Friday, February 17th. It was quite possibly the worst day of my life to this point. Watching our daughter hear that her son was no longer alive inside her was heart wrenching and then hearing her scream is something that I do not believe I will ever forget as long as I have breath to breathe. I wanted to take that pain from her and I could not. It's just not right and was so unfair. My beautiful, loving daughter who is a fabulous mother loses her child and then there are those who have babies like rabbits and can't and don't take care of them ... something is seriously wrong with this picture.

I am waiting for God to speak to me and help me get a grasp on this situation. The sadness I can deal with a bit better than the anger.